Order of the Pheonix Parody
by hugabug
Summary: I updated finally! chapter three is up! READ!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One: Dud-Lee Demented:  
  
Happy Rotter was eavesdropping on his Aunt peculiar and Uncle Vernon when they heard a big CRACK!  
  
Immediately Happy went red. His Aunt and Uncle looked down on him through their living room window, he was so red now, he looked like a giant tomato with legs.  
  
"Is that what I thought it was?" questioned his peculiar aunt.  
  
"If you think that I just farted so loudly, that everyone in the street heard me, you were right," Happy said turning even redder. "What have we told you about your, problem"  
  
Happy started crying. "It's not my fault, I'm a very, very farty boy" Happy managed to say between loud sobs.  
  
"Don't talk about your situation in the open!" Spat his uncle. "You don't understand what it's like for me, living day to day with irregularity problems" Happy said as he headed down Privet Drive, letting off a few as he ran.  
  
"Oooo, look," Happy said to his invisible friend, "Dementors, maybe they will be my friends."  
  
The dementors were about to attack Happy because he was so damn ugly, when his cousin Dude-Lee saved the day by sitting on the dementors and killing them. 


	2. CHapter Two: Attack of the Owls

Chapter Two: Attack of the Owls  
  
Happy ran to his house crying, entered his room and found a letter on his desk. Could this be a letter from one of his friends, Ronald or Heroin?  
  
No, it couldn't be, he was sure his friends didn't like him any more because they said:  
  
"Happy, we don't like you anymore" the previous year.  
  
He picked up the letter, but realized he was incompetent and couldn't read.  
  
Since Happy was home alone, he was once again playing with the toaster.  
  
He heard a crash downstairs and saw that some other people were in his house.  
  
He looked around, and noticed some strangely dressed people were in his kitchen.  
  
Considering Happy had spent four years of his life in the wizarding world, it took him a while to realize these people were wizards. Actually it took him about half an hour.  
  
"Hey guys, do you wizards wanna play?" he asked, emphasizing the fact that he knew they were wizards and damn proud of it. As he was approaching them he had saliva dripping out his mouth and his hand in the toaster.  
  
Loo-pin, a wizard that wore a pin shaped like a loo, looked down on him his faced looking sympathetic and disgusted.  
  
"We -er...."  
  
"What is it guys?" Happy asked, always been the last one to catch on to anything.  
  
"We- ah - something suddenly came up!!" shouted one wizard.  
  
"RUNNNNNN!!!" shouted Loo-pin.  
  
They all ran out the house and down Privet Drive, at the end of Privet Drive they found a set of brooms.  
  
"What are these?" A wizard asked Loo-pin.  
  
"These may look like ordinary household brooms, but they aren't, they are magical brooms!"  
  
"Does that mean we can fly them?"  
  
"Where'd you get and idea like that?" Loo-pin asked.  
  
"Well, for some reason I always thought witches rode brooms."  
  
"Well you were wrong, weren't you?"  
  
Loo-pin and the rest of the wizards picked up the brooms and began sweeping the driveway to number 14 Privet Drive. The wizards and happy were doing this for about two hours when the "magical" part of this method of transportation began to kick in, the wizards and Happy were transported to some hole in England.  
  
(A/N I know this chapter isn't really that funny, but it was pretty hard making fun of this part I the Order of The Pheonix. I promise the next chapter will be funnier! And I will upload it pretty soon, I just want a few more reviews. Please review!!!) 


	3. Chapter Three Harry gets a bedtime story

Chapter Three: I don't own any characters from Harry Potter. And I do not own Michael Jackson or Blues clues.  
  
BANG! Happy, Loo-pin and various other characters we don't hear about again landed.  
  
Loo-pin pulled out a piece of 'parchment'. "I know what that is! It's an invisibility cloak"  
  
"Not quite. Read it so we can get in." Loo-pin said, clearly fed up with Happy's stupidity.  
  
Happy, being the insecure freak he was broke down into tears.  
  
"What's wrong with you now? You can't tell me it's because your parents are dead and nobody loves you, Dumb-window told us to assure you, that someone out there must really really really really love you for you to still be alive" Loo-pin said looking down at Happy, squeezing his forearm whenever he said really, "But I am finding it extremely hard to sympathize with you, so I'll just say you used that excuse three times on the way here."  
  
"Really, three times, I thought it was more, oh well" Happy said, pausing from is choked sobs, 'It's just that I-I c-can't read" He said sobbing in between each new word, producing vast amounts of mucus that was rubbed on Loo-pin's sleeve.  
  
"Don't tell me you can't read this sentence, it's not that hard."  
  
"Ok, I cant' read this sentence, its not that hard. But Daddy never loved me"  
  
"That has got to be the lamest excuse I've ever heard!"  
  
"Really, is it that lame?"  
  
"Yes, up there with the lamest of lame," Loo-pin said while slowly baking away from the now almost psychotic looking Happy, "I'll read it to you, then."  
  
"Really? Just like a bed-time story?" Happy said while sucking on his thumb.  
  
"Uh yeah, just like a bed time story" Loo-pin said while unfolding the paper.  
  
When he looked up from the paper he realized Happy was no where to be seen, a few of the other wizards pointed towards the ground. Loo-pin looked down and almost screamed in disgust. There Happy was, curled up in a little ball on top of a blanket he got from god knows where.  
  
Someone nudged Loo-pin and he began to read, "The Headquarters – "  
  
"What are head-quarters, uncle looy" Loo-pin continued ignoring Happy, "- of the order of the phoenix may be found – "  
  
"I can find it! I can find it, as long as I get help from Blue!"  
  
"At number 12 – "  
  
"Warmer, warmer," Happy said while wetting his pants.  
  
"- Grimmauld Place, London."  
  
"WE JUST FIGURED OUT BLUES CLUES, WE JUST FIGURED OUT ....."  
  
Thankfully someone had the sense to knock oout Happy before he could continue the song in a high-pitched, girly voice. (A/N think Michael Jackson) 


End file.
